is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Boobs are out for the taking
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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