Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
