For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
