I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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