thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
