watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
