I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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