Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
