We got so high we made milksteak
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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