There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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