guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
