You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm too high and old for this...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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