I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
