we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
