I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
