So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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