No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
