she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
ok first of all what the fuck
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
