he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize