sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
