So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
