A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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