Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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