I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
