i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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