just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
