I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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