Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
