hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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