I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
