I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
