Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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