I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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