So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
