i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
