youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
