How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
