GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
