I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
