Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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