the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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