ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
