everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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