She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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