If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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