help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
