My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
