just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
