Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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