my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
