It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
