She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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