She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
